Word power

 I didn't always sing, but I always wrote. I had the good fortune to discover books early on, which offered up a fortune of information (and inspiration) about the world out there, and what was possible to do with a pen. Thank god for literacy because it was the tail of the tiger that I had to catch on the road to  liberating my voice. For the quiet girl that I was, solace was found in books and making up stories of my own. For the silent surly teenager that followed, books offered more alternative realities, as adolescence found me getting a lot of props for what I looked like rather than what I said. I had one especially perceptive teacher who ran the drama department in which I didn't dare set foot, who also taught a drama literature class. Ms. Zanjani got right away that the work was easy for me but that I didn't take it seriously, and did me well by guiding me into College English classes.
Writing got me into UCSC, where, fortified by a diverse, dedicated-to-actualizing student-body, I realized that my quiet behavior simply didn't mirror the truth. Still it would take me a very long time to feel anywhere near comfortable talking in groups and to even think about performing, but over many years, writing led to being able to 'say' the truth on the page. Reading that writing stepped up the game, and singing, well that gave me my emotional spectrum back.

This is a CliffNotes version of a bigger story, but I'm remembering it this week, as I caught myself 'being shy' the other day, not speaking up in a mostly-male group when I had something to say.  

Then a friend posted the article What Every Girl Should Learn online and which I found at once encouraging and enraging and all to familiar. That is, I'm so glad Soraya Chemaly wrote this article and so sad getting your voice isn't enough in many cases.

The words:

"Stop interrupting me." 

"I just said that."

"No explanation needed."

The why: Chemaly writes  "As adults, women's speech is granted less authority and credibility. We aren't thought of as able critics or as funny. Men speak more, more often, and longer than women in mixed groups (classrooms, boardrooms, legislative bodies, expert media commentary and, for obvious reasons  religious institutions.) Indeed,  in male-dominated problem solving groups including boards, committees and legislatures, men speak 75% more than women, with negative effects on decisions reached. 
That's why, as researchers summed up, "Having a seat at the table is not the same as having a voice."

Ugh.

As someone who took a long time to find my voice, I've had many rude awakenings when it comes to the latter. The only thing worse than overt sexism is seeing my own internalized sexism -- the part of me that bought the silence and deferral game who still occasionally rears her fearful head.   
I'll have to remember the direction to "stop interrupting" that much more...and stock up on some more good books.

Interview: ROCKRGRL Carla De Santis Black's new MEOW

One of my favorite events during my time at SXSW 2012 was the WIMPS (Women in Professional Music Society) and MEOW (Musicians for Equal Opportunities for Women) High Tea Ladies Luncheon. One hundred and twenty women in music assembled for the tea — a spin-off of a monthly WIMPS gathering in Austin and a collaborative effort with MEOW founder Carla De Santis Black — and all of us got a chance on the mic to briefly introduce ourselves and work. The result was a pretty mind-blowing and motivating demonstration of musical accomplishment. The event also gave me a chance to catch up on the work of De Santis Black who I'd lost track of in 2005 when she published the final issue of the pioneering magazine for women, ROCKRGRL. Now relocated to Austin, she was once again leading and building the music community under the auspices of MEOW, with a mission to "to level the playing field for women in music through networking, education, outreach and advocacy." De Santis Black graciously answered my questions about her work.

Q: You published the last issue of ROCKRGRL in 2005 and founded MEOW in 2011.  Did you take some downtime or did you always know you’d start something new? Can you discuss how different (or similar) it was starting ROCKRGRL compared to MEOW?  

CDB: Well, when I started ROCKRGRL it was 1995 and the Internet was just starting to catch on. Now, because of the Internet, print is struggling but nobody really knows how to monetize content on the Internet yet so it's still like the wild, Wild West out there. 

When I stopped doing ROCKRGRL Magazine at the end of 2005 I was completely burned out. I could see the writing on the wall as far as drop in subscription numbers went, but the conferences were still well attended - although it was also a challenge to find sponsorship money to sustain that as well. I didn't really have a plan when I folded the magazine other than I wanted to do something new. I just wasn't sure what that was. Within a year I realized that I was ready to move on and leave Seattle. I got my condo ready to sell and then the economy hit the skids and selling was not a possibility. It took until the end of 2010 to finally sell it. I wasn't exactly sure how to continue the mission I had in ROCKRGRL — to create a strong community of like-minded women in music to GROW the number of successful women — at the top. I had come up with the name MEOW (Musicians for Equal Opportunities for Women) a few years earlier but not sure what to do with it. When I finally moved to Austin at the end of 2010, I took a year to get my bearings and meet people to see if there was a need in the local community where I could be useful. 

The web site — MEOWgazine (www.meowonline.org) — was a very recent decision I made at the end of last year. I want that to be a hub for female musicians to learn about the business, opportunities and ways they can succeed in an industry that is, quite frankly, still a boy's club. It's updated every day and is very much in the style of ROCKRGRL Magazine — which I hope is smart but also entertaining. 

Q: You’ve pioneered so much for women in music.   Who were/are your role models for both playing music and leading change in the industry?  Was activism a natural choice for you?

CDB: Great question. I was really raised to believe you need to be the change you want to see in the world. The early '80s was the time frame when I was playing music and the Go-Go's were so influential to me. I wanted to hear songs in my own voice that I could relate to. At that time there were also so many other women coming up - Pat Benatar, The Pretenders, Heart, the B 52's, Cyndi Lauper - so many cool women playing so many different styles of music. That age of women in music was quickly followed by the less female-friendly hair bands. I was offended that so many people regarded women playing music as simply a "trend." So odd!

Q: You’ve lived (and led) in (at least) two strong music communities (Austin & Seattle) Why Austin now? And was it hard to leave Seattle after having accomplished so much there?

CDB: My family moved at pivotal times in my childhood, so I guess that has always made me feel that I am destined to play out different chapters of my life in different locations. I really enjoy creating events for women in music. I can see how much women enjoy the opportunity to meet and talk about what is important to them. Because SXSW is such an enormous event, I thought Austin would be a great place to do more conferences from. I have already done one in November and have another MEOW Conference scheduled for May 26th. They are starting out small, but I am hoping to grow them into large, national events - SXSW for girls!!

Q: How do you think the obstacles and opportunities for women in music have changed over the past 20 years? Are there more or less?

CDB: I don't think people hear "you're good for a girl" as much any more, but there are still areas where women are not as prevalent: as drummers and behind the scenes. I wonder why there is not a woman who is famous as a guitar player - and just as a guitar player. I wonder why all-female bands are still a rarity in mainstream culture. These are still questions that keep me up at night.

Q: Your clearly very busy with coaching, writing, advocacy and all that is MEOW— how do you take care of you?  

CDB: Ha! Good question!  I collapse in front of the television and fall asleep to something brain-numbing like Judge Judy or Real Housewives of Wherever. I could definitely do a lot better in that department!

 For more information about Carla and MEOW, visit http://carladesantisblack.com/ and http://meowonline.org

Interview: Rosy Moon on Identity Yoga

After reconnecting with Albany-based yoga teacher, actress and personal coach Rosy Moon Schlussel, she invited me to an intro to the coaching and yoga instruction she does, a part of which she calls "Identity Yoga." Rosy's instruction was encouraging, precise and inspiring and I found the work to be effective at getting to the core of what's going on. I asked her more about her approach to yoga, coaching and the Identity Yoga workshops she teaches with her husband David Schlussel.

Q: What is "Identity Yoga?"
RM: Essentially it's a playful moniker for what we're up to with this combination of yoga and coaching. Identity is that which we relate to ourselves as. The way that hatha yoga practices give you more freedom in your body. Identity Yoga gives you more freedom to be yourself.

Q: How did you first come to yoga? Was it through acting?

RM: When I was 15 years old, I would go to Iyengar classes taught by Franciose Barbira
Freedman with my mother. I had danced since the age of 10, and by 14 I had discovered "new
circus," that was characterized by an emphasis on human skills with a more theatrical element, as opposed to relying on traditional spectacle and animals. Physical training and performance had become a joy and a necessity in my life, so you could say it was through the circus, although what I remember about those classes was feeling cold, rather bored and hungry! It wasn't until moving back to London in 1999, after briefly living in a beautiful Australian beach town, that I committed to yoga as a practice. I felt drawn to the flow and challenge of Ashtanga and I knew that I could not survive the London winter without this joy-drenching and spirit-strengthening infusion on a daily basis.

Q: Can you talk about how you arrived at your current approach to practice? You have a background in vinyasa/Ashtanga and I noticed you [often] emphasise longer held poses?

RM: Before I had the good fortune to be introduced to my teacher Sofia Diaz, I had given up teaching. In a twist of fate that was as surprising to me as how I began teaching, it slowly dawned on me that it was no longer right for me to be teaching and I dropped the pre and post natal classes that had been my niche for a while. Then on the invitation of a dear friend I went to Sofia's class. Part-way through the rigorous practice she had us in a deep half squat for almost a minute and she asked the question, "Are you satisfied with this moment, right now?" It was one of the many things that cracked me open that night. I realized that I had been living in a perpetual state of dissatisfaction or withheld appreciation of each moment. In the moment of her asking that question I was struggling to simply stay standing and I felt able to choose, not only satisfaction with that moment, but celebration of every flavor of my experience. This re-ignited my passion for teaching—now I knew a whole other level of what yoga could offer. Through longer holding of poses and a real-time, deep inquiry into our emotional reactivity, we can access that which is greater than simply our own effort—the union with that which is greater than you, that yoga is named for.

Q: How would you describe the intersection of teaching yoga and personal coaching? Are they really that different? Any common themes?

RM: They are very complimentary and distinct. The style of coaching that I practice could be called "being" coaching. We have ways of being that govern our actions in life. Awareness of these ways of being are often buried deep under layers of habits and assumptions. Thus we may believe the way we see the world is not just our perspective, it is "the way it is." Through coaching we distinguish habits from assumptions, from what is actually so. One of the wonderful aspects of yoga is that it can bypass the confusion and certainty of the mind. If you are confused and lost in some way, a deep asana, held for long enough will have you get pretty clear in a relatively short time. It will energize you and propel you beyond your small problem so that you can tackle the larger problems of your life without fear. If you are convinced of your limitations (certainty), with asana you get to feel your limitations and nuzzle into them while cultivating an appreciation for your limits. In this process, over time, without fail, your limitations shift. Yoga is a practice of feeling, with coaching we can also learn to feel and articulate feeling, which in our mind-oriented culture, is harder than it sounds and, in my opinion, is deeply necessary for our evolution/survival.

Q: How do you balance being a mom, working with your husband (also a yoga teacher) and your own work? What, or who, keeps you inspired?

RM: I find the work that I do inspiring. As a coach I am working with people who trust me enough to share what is vulnerable for them so that they can change their lives and understand themselves and fulfill their desires. As a yoga teacher what keeps me inspired is my teacher, and yoga itself. As well as a regular practice, I take class with Sofia over the internet (she's based in Colorado & comes to the Bay Area every six weeks). I am also a practicing Buddhist in the Nichiren Daishonin tradition. By making time for these practices it not only informs what I teach, but also gives a radiant and peaceful light to my life and a greater capacity for trusting life as it unfolds. My husband and I do the same work so we are constantly sharing what we learn and teach. We inspire each other.

Q: What does a 'typical' Identity Yoga Workshop?
RM: We [usually] have two days from noon to 6pm where we teach Yoga asana practices to explore freedom in your body, and relational games and practices to facilitate more freedom to love being who you really are, in any circumstance.

Rosy teaches Tues. & Thurs. & Sat. at Vara Healing Arts in Albany, CA. David Schlussel and Rosy Moon Schlussel teach Identity Yoga Workshops at AuthenticSF, & other studios in the Bay Area. Contact for more information contact rosymoon1@gmail.com.