Artist Interview: Annette Conlon Reclaims Her Voice on 'Life, Death and the Spaces Between'

I've known songwriter Annette Conlon for nearly as long as I've been recording music. The Los Angeles based artist has long been an avid support of other artists as the host of 'Nette Radio, 'one of the longest running radio shows dedicated to promoting women in music.'  She's also hosted many a songwriter showcase over the years and collaborated with her husband in duo The Conlons. But after a harrowing few years of health challenges, Annette is putting her own voice front and center, embarking on a solo project inspired by the events she's weathered, "Life, Death and The Spaces Between." Amidst a crowdfunding campaign to support the project and some unexpected family events, Annette discussed her road to healing and writing her most inspired material.

Q: You've been so active in music, I didn't realize you hadn't recorded your own solo work. How did you know it was time?

Annette Conlon: I fell and hit my head on a trashcan on April 17, 2014. I suffered a pretty severe concussion and during my recovery I started writing. I had written an entire album’s worth of songs between April 17th and Sept 5^th; but really by mid-June I knew I wanted to record the songs I has written thus far. These songs felt special to me, and to Doug, and seemed to really connect with people when we played them live.  I told Doug I wanted to record right around my birthday in June. It wasn’t until we were in the studio and recording that we realized this was really my baby. Even though I had written everything, we went in with the intention of recording a “The Conlons” record; however, we realized that wasn’t what it was. Doug is fully supportive of my first full-length solo record, has generously played on it, and is currently working on his third solo record.  

Q: Backing up to 2012? Can you brief us on what happened? What was vocal therapy like — was it regaining or learning a whole knew toolkit? I gather you focused on physical recovery first and then the emotional work didn't kick in until the concussion....

AC: I had a retropharyngeal abscess resultant from bacteria that was residing on some cervical fusion hardware put in back in 2003. I had three surgeries through my esophagus: two due to the abscess and one to repair a hole in my esophagus. During the second surgery my right vocal laryngeal nerve was damaged and the result was the right cord became paralyzed. My surgeon, who is a top ENT surgeon, used Radiesse for Voice, and injected that through my neck into the right vocal cord, having me sing while injecting the gel to move the right cord back into the middle. Now my left vocal cord basically does all of the work and my right cord just kind of sits there, in one place. I had swallow therapy to learn how to swallow again as my swallowing muscles were damaged. I also went to speech therapy/vocal therapy sessions at the hospital to learn how to speak correctly again. (I basically went until my benefits ran out). I did all of the homework for swallow and speech/vocal exercises, and once I was given permission to do so, I began one-on-one vocal coaching with the amazing Jan Linder-Koda via Skype. I also used her vocal warm-ups on my own time.  I kept old mp3s of when I was first talking and trying to sing. It’s amazing to me how far I’ve come. I don’t have as big of a voice as I had before I got sick. That power is gone. I have to remember not to push too hard or I will lose my voice. I get vocal fatigue easier – and I have noticed that if my neck muscles are tired my voice will change. All of those surgeries have affected me and I have had to learn to work with it and not fight it. That’s okay, it’s really a small price to pay to still be able to do something I love so much. Not only did I survive all of that, but I’m singing? I’m pretty lucky! I’m so happy when I sing, and I’m so thrilled to say I’m making a record without auto-tune. It’s authentically me. This new voice is purely me and I really like it.

I think the reason I didn’t focus on the emotional healing was that my “job” was to get well. Some days I had 2-3 doctors’ appointments. Some weeks I went to the doctor 3-4 days of the week. Recovering from 3 major surgeries, the feeding tubes, the PICC line, all of the drains, etc, required so many visits, physical therapy, etc., that it was all I really did for a while. Not to mention the very real fear for the first year that the infection could resurface. I think emotionally I didn’t feel well for a long time. Physically, I was still not super strong even at a year and a half. When I had that concussion in April I was still not as strong as I am now. My legs collapsed as I stepped off the curb and down I went.

In August 2014 I celebrated my two-year anniversary of the first surgery. It really wasn’t all that long ago. It is remarkable to me know to look back and see how far I have come.

Q: How was writing a part of your emotional recovery? All these songs were written in this period. How are they different than your previous work? What do you hope listeners will take away from the work?

AC: Writing these songs was cathartic. I confronted, relived, and experienced… however you want to say it, thoughts and feelings that were veiled in my subconscious because I had focused all of my energy ‘getting well’. Once I had quiet time to just sit, without any outside input, my mind opened up, and I started listening. It was amazing to me to experience this as an artist/writer. I’ve always been a writer, but sometimes you try to force things. You tell yourself “I must write this song or finish this short story.” Instead, I merely listened and wrote. The words and the music came not independent from each other but almost in concert. I had to learn how to listen and convey this from inside my head to pen, paper and guitar. I’m still listening and writing, and I’m grateful that I’m able to stay connected to this inner voice.

In the past I didn’t have an inner voice, or muse, specifically guiding me as I do now. When I would have an idea of a poem, I would write it down, and then struggle with cords to come up with a song. If a melody came first I would sing it into a voice recorder or my phone, and struggle to convert it into cords. Sometimes weeks went by before I found words that made sense to that melody. Those struggles seem to be gone for now and I’m grateful. 

I definitely want the listener to take away that this is a collected body of work. There can be hope after sorrow; there is joy in overcoming struggle. While each song stands alone, I think together they tell a story. We are frail beings, we are strong, and we can take and make beautiful music out of really awful circumstances, which in and of itself is very healing.

  
Q: Tell us about your plans for the record and going forward? Are you fully recovered from the events of the past few years? Will you be touring?

AC: I plan to release the record on April 17, 2015. That is the one-year anniversary of the concussion, and it seems like the perfect day for THIS record to be released! I really hope we make the Kickstarter goal.... I am so grateful to everyone who has supported me and donated thus far. We were doing really well at first and had a lot of momentum but my Uncle died on Nov 1 and I flew to Alabama to be with my family for the funeral. From Alabama, I flew to Colorado with my parents to attend the funeral of my mom’s best friend’s on Monday of this week. I’ve known this sweet lady since I was in kindergarten. Her daughter and I were in church choir together all through junior high and high school. It’s been a long week of funerals and sadness. [And] I am still in Colorado due to the Arctic Front that moved in. I hope to be able to return to Los Angeles on Friday. ... I am focusing my thoughts on the positive energy of all the support I have received thus far and praying that it works out as it should. I wouldn’t change a thing, because I put my family first, but the timing was rotten. That’s sometimes how life works out. I do hope your readers will check out the Kickstarter and find a reward they like!  There are some really great things there! 

Once the record IS finished and released I will reach out to the Internet radio shows I’ve connected with throughout the years through my time doing NetteRadio. I want to take it as far as I possibly can and I think this is a good first step.

Am I recovered? I think I’m as recovered as I’ll ever be although I can always get stronger, or in better shape, and I work towards that every day. I’ll never be like I was before I got sick. When they told me that at the hospital it made me so mad. I don’t ever want someone else to define me. I understand now what they were trying to say, to caution me and keep me from being disappointed.  This isn’t something I dwell on. I’m certainly much stronger now than I was in April and I hope that I’ll be stronger next April than I am right now.

I would definitely consider touring to support the record. I might do several smaller tours instead of one big tour. That seems like a good way to stay healthy, happy and strong.

 http://www.annetteconlon.com/

Word power

 I didn't always sing, but I always wrote. I had the good fortune to discover books early on, which offered up a fortune of information (and inspiration) about the world out there, and what was possible to do with a pen. Thank god for literacy because it was the tail of the tiger that I had to catch on the road to  liberating my voice. For the quiet girl that I was, solace was found in books and making up stories of my own. For the silent surly teenager that followed, books offered more alternative realities, as adolescence found me getting a lot of props for what I looked like rather than what I said. I had one especially perceptive teacher who ran the drama department in which I didn't dare set foot, who also taught a drama literature class. Ms. Zanjani got right away that the work was easy for me but that I didn't take it seriously, and did me well by guiding me into College English classes.
Writing got me into UCSC, where, fortified by a diverse, dedicated-to-actualizing student-body, I realized that my quiet behavior simply didn't mirror the truth. Still it would take me a very long time to feel anywhere near comfortable talking in groups and to even think about performing, but over many years, writing led to being able to 'say' the truth on the page. Reading that writing stepped up the game, and singing, well that gave me my emotional spectrum back.

This is a CliffNotes version of a bigger story, but I'm remembering it this week, as I caught myself 'being shy' the other day, not speaking up in a mostly-male group when I had something to say.  

Then a friend posted the article What Every Girl Should Learn online and which I found at once encouraging and enraging and all to familiar. That is, I'm so glad Soraya Chemaly wrote this article and so sad getting your voice isn't enough in many cases.

The words:

"Stop interrupting me." 

"I just said that."

"No explanation needed."

The why: Chemaly writes  "As adults, women's speech is granted less authority and credibility. We aren't thought of as able critics or as funny. Men speak more, more often, and longer than women in mixed groups (classrooms, boardrooms, legislative bodies, expert media commentary and, for obvious reasons  religious institutions.) Indeed,  in male-dominated problem solving groups including boards, committees and legislatures, men speak 75% more than women, with negative effects on decisions reached. 
That's why, as researchers summed up, "Having a seat at the table is not the same as having a voice."

Ugh.

As someone who took a long time to find my voice, I've had many rude awakenings when it comes to the latter. The only thing worse than overt sexism is seeing my own internalized sexism -- the part of me that bought the silence and deferral game who still occasionally rears her fearful head.   
I'll have to remember the direction to "stop interrupting" that much more...and stock up on some more good books.

Earth Day is Every Day

 I didn't plan for Earth Day 2014 and my mammogram to go hand-in-hand. In fact, I didn't put the two events together until I was sitting in the "butterfly room" of the Breast Center, in Oakland, with all the other ladies who'd donned medical-center-issue white robes to wait our turns for our screenings. I appreciated how those who designed the breast health center had made efforts to make the whole visit as pleasant as possible: different rooms are marked with various flowers (I got a lotus), or butterflies, and the sound of bird song comes through the speakers as you wait for your named to be called. And I appreciated those who founded Earth Day to rally more folks around valuing the planet and the environment. But I'm too aware of the fact that butterflies are faced with their own climate-related problems and that mammograms may or may not be that helpful in preventing breast-cancer related deaths. So the transformative symbolism of beautiful creatures used as decor perhaps didn't have the desired effect on me. But the whole experience did jar me into thinking of my friend Samantha, who passed away 6 years ago, at 41 years of age, due to breast cancer.  

Sam and I met as idealistic undergrads at UCSC, majoring in Environmental Studies and adjusting to semi-adult life on and off-campus. While I'd grown up surrounded by nature, Sam was from LA and knew city sidewalks and paved highways better than the dirt trails and redwoods that were my familiar. Slightly jaded about the social scene, Sam was nonetheless completely floored by the natural world she discovered in Santa Cruz, and was wide-eyed and wondrous every time she spotted something new through her binocs. Wildness, the out-of-doors, birds and snakes and butterflies where new to her as a young adult, and her curiosity helped me realize how fortunate I'd been to be raised around trees and wildlife. Likewise, while I helped her identify birds, she showed me how to be comfortable at a party. She was fearless around loved ones and strangers alike. She'd tell you if she thought your boyfriend was no-good, loved elephant seals and Star Wars, Count Basie and the Steaming Hunks of Hot Love Chuncks college band, in equal measure. She ate with gusto, cooked nonchalantly, and would share her lunch anytime I stopped by her apartment on my bike ride up to campus.  On Earth Day circa 1990, you'd likely find her sitting in the great meadow, a butterfly painted on her cheek, watching the crowd, laughing and generally taking it all in. 

Sam knew how to live, and her natural openness toward people and nature went unabated after college... so it was especially cruel when she was diagnosed with breast cancer when at age 39, and crueler still that after a brief period of remission, the disease would come back swiftly and decisively two years after her initial diagnosis. I was grateful I got to say goodbye to her and acknowledge all she meant to me before she died, but like all deaths of loved ones, processing what meaning is to be found is ongoing and episodic.

The fact that she died so young almost hits me harder now, when I realize that she, too, went in for mammograms, on schedule, that all failed to detect what would kill her even as she reported other symptoms to her doctors. My sadness is only amplified by the fact that Earth Day 2014 finds us in a world where the disconnect between cause and affect seems at as great a distance as it was 25 years ago. Yesterday, a woman wished me a 'Happy Earth Day' while holding a styrofoam cup. I was too stunned to say anything. Just like I didn't question my technician as she set me up for my mammogram, at once skeptical and grateful I had insurance to cover the prescribed test.

In reality, taking care of one's health, and focusing on the well-being of the environment is every day.  Life goes on, with or without us, so how to appreciate the moment, this earth, this body, right now?

Tickets can be purchased from the Albany Twin Theater box office (and online) for $10 ($8 for seniors and students) after April 15th.
There will be a screening in Albany next week: Transition Albany & Transition BerkeleyTuesday April 29, 7 pm ARISE Albany Twin Theater, 1115 Solano Avenue, Albanyhttp://arisethemovie.org. Tickets can be purchased from the Albany Twin Theater box office (and online) for $10 ($8 for seniors and students) after April 15th.Check out the trailer here:

http://youtu.be/kAalNQQDttM

Read.Eat.Listen: Orderliness

There's nothing exactly sexy about doing ones taxes, but once I got over the 'ughs' of it all, I got really into doing them this week. In any event, getting all my accounting up to date spawned a rash of (relative) orderliness. The words and music filtering into the reclaimed structure:

Read: Between the Malaysian flight disappearance acting as my whodunit mystery and Russia's political/war drama, I admit I've been a newshound. But as I'm about to do a writing workshop with the fantabulous Santa Cruz-based Ellen Bass, some poetry has crept in to save me. "Like a Beggar" is her latest.

excerpt of "Waiting for Rain" from Like a Beggar:
"Maybe it's wrong/to think of better and worse./There's no one who can carry my fear/for a child who walks out the door/not knowing what will stop her breathe./The rain they say is coming/sails now over the Pacific in purplish nimbus clouds./But it isn't enough. Last year I watched/elephants encircle their young, shuffling/their massive legs without hurry, flaring/their great dusty ears. Once they drank from the snowmelt of Kilimanjaro. ..." — Ellen Bass

Eat: Though I grew up near fields full of them, I was first turned onto Brussels Sprouts as something I'd want to eat in a French train station during a cold winter trip abroad. Served as a side to something I can't remember, and helped along by a generous amount of butter, I came awake to their flavors. The cruciferous vegetable has since morphed into one of my favorite things to eat, and has nearly surpassed brocoli  as the in-house go-to vegetable. Check out this simple Kale and Brussels Sprout Salad from Epicurious. 
Listen: Eliza Gilkyson is a more-than-fine songstress out of Texas whose steadily amassed a stellar body of work. She released a new album this week, her 20th or so (!), "Nocturne Sessions." Here's a tune from the CD :

Happy Valentine's Day: World Sound Healing Day Feb 14, 2014 + Some Poetry

It's no secret singing makes you feel better. Sound vibration — whether you're chanting or singing in the shower or part of a choir — is going to alter your felt sense somehow (usually for the better).
Coinciding with Valentine's Day, a tribe of sound scholars, healers and singers have organized an international event around healing sound: World Sound Healing Day! The 12th annual event — where people from around the globe are invited to 'sound' a healing note in unison at 12 noon (local time)— is today, February 14.
"Join thousands throughout the planet for the 12th Annual WORLD SOUND HEALING DAY on Friday, February 14, 2014. At 12 noon (local time in your time zone), sound forth for 5 minutes with the “AH”, created and projected with the energy of compassion and love."
 
Heal your heart, heal the world! Healing Sounds pioneer Jonathan Goldman offers a free sounding mp3 for those who want to join in.  Find a list of in-person events here.

I once heard a writer instruct her students to carry a book of poetry everywhere. I've followed her guidance at times, always happy when I do. Poetry just gives. To whit:

The Quiet World 

by Jeffrey McDaniel

In an effort to get people to look

into each other’s eyes more,

and also to appease the mutes,

the government has decided

to allot each person exactly one hundred   

and sixty-seven words, per day.

When the phone rings, I put it to my ear   

without saying hello. In the restaurant   

I point at chicken noodle soup.

I am adjusting well to the new way.

Late at night, I call my long distance lover,   

proudly say I only used fifty-nine today.   

I saved the rest for you.

When she doesn’t respond,

I know she’s used up all her words,   

so I slowly whisper I love you

thirty-two and a third times.

After that, we just sit on the line   

and listen to each other breathe.

                           —Jeffrey McDaniel, “The Quiet World” from The Forgiveness Parade. Copyright © 1998 by Jeffrey McDaniel. Reprinted with the permission of Manic D Press.

Read.Eat.Listen: Relax

Like much of the world, I found myself troubled/fascinated/horrified by the events in Boston last week and read/listened to a little too much of the news. The antidote? Some grateful appreciation for my life and where I live, a timely set of exercises and some great tunes.
Read: This isn't a book-book, but a workbook/brochure, I found through bodyworker/teacher/writer Nikki Jordan. Having a long-standing interest in somatic practices, I was intrigued when she mentioned a TRE-Psoas "Tension and Trauma Releasing Exercises" by David Berceli, Ph.D and signed up for a workshop. I found the short series of simple exercises very  effective at meeting its claim 'to release deep chronic tension.' Good stuff, especially in times like these.
Eat: Soba noodles. Gluten-free, tasty and exceedingly quick and simple to make, soba noodles are another item getting regular play in these parts. Here's a slew of cold-weather soba based recipes and a hot-weather variation from The Kitchn blog to encourage your soba creativity.
Listen: Well, I know I mentioned them in a fairly recent Read.Eat.Listen, but after seeing Kelly Willis & Bruce Robison play a great show at Freight and Salvage this weekend, this household can't seem to get enough of their songs. Here's another bit of inspired songwriting from their Cheater's Game Cd.

Artist Interview: Sarah Fisher's Sacred Video Network

I first met Sarah Fisher when I was looking for a local director and filmmaker for a  music video for "Let's Move". Sarah has a clear aesthetic and an appreciation for both independent artists and Eastern Wisdom traditions — we had fun working with her to boot! I recently caught up with Sarah about her latest project, The Sacred Video Network, a project dear to her heart.

Q How did you first get into film making? Who or what inspired and inspires you?

SF: I've been making films since I was 12. I have loved creating visual stories since I was a kid. I studied Mass Communications/Broadcast Journalism as an undergrad because I wanted to be an international television reporter. While I never ended up pursuing the TV reporter path, I did develop a strong interest in producing/directing documentary films. Documentaries are such an important visual medium. I love that you can be both creative and educational — that you can really move people by crafting a story in a way that a broadcast entity most likely wouldn't do on their own

Q Whose work you look to as a standard? Do you have any mentors?

SF: I have a lot of mentors! I try to surround myself with people who are talented in all areas of film. I admire filmmakers like David Lynch, Walter Salles, the Maysles brothers, and Darren Aronofsky. Specifically, right now I am focused on entrepreneurship. So, I spend more time studying business-related topics than film making techniques. You'd be more likely to find me at a Meetup group, intensive start up business conference, or marketing seminar than any film networking group.

Q Tell us about the Sacred Video Network? 

SF: The Sacred Video Network is a start up website that will greatly raise the visibility and help forward-thinking holistic businesses reach their target customers. The Sacred Video Network (SVN) will widely promote our clients businesses across the web through unique distribution methods. These are some of the video products we produce to help your business gain exposure: testimonial videos, promotional videos, mini-documentaries, instructional videos. The mission of the SVN is to really connect holisitic businesses with their nice audience in a powerful, engaging way as well as help educate consumers who want to learn more about ANY type of holistic practice. We'll be launching our website in a few months. To learn more, visit http://www.sacredvideonetwork.com/ 

Q: Describe your dream project?

SF: I have so many dream projects! I've really been trying to reign in my focus lately and not take on too many big projects at once. The Sacred Video Network is my passion project right now and I'm determined to make it a sustainable business. I believe in the mission strongly because it can help so many people around the world improve their lives. After a few years of going strong with the SVN, I hope to build a music video network for independent musicians. Doing work in one medium for a very long time seems rather boring. Variety is the spice of life! I want to use the powerful medium of film/video to create a lasting impact of the lives of many people with lots of creativity.
Contribute to Sacred Video Network:

Cold day questions

Some Questions on my mind today:

1. Why is it you often feel really GREAT just before you get sick?
2. How does anyone manage to get everything precious and wonderful out of the Vitamix after mixing something up?
3. What's with LinkedIn's new(ish) hyper-endorsement tool?

I know. Not so terribly deep, but I woke up with a sore throat and an urge to stay in bed all day after a kick-ass day of energy. I eat healthy, I stand on my head almost every day, what gives? Oh well. We're going to Portland tomorrow and being sick in a hotel for three days was and is not part of my plan. So my focus has narrowed considerably.  Tea. Water. Wellness formula. Juice. Blankets. Internet.  A super food  smoothie that's o-so-yummy (this one featured dates & almonds) though some of its precious drops remain in the bottom of the darn mixer. I'm keenly aware that I'm grateful to have this very minor conundrum.

In the meantime, a bit of sleuthing while I convalesce didn't turn up complete answers to my questions but did provide some interesting Answer-like fodder:

1. Really? Your Body Clock Can Determine When You Get Sick 
2. It's all about the spatula 
3. Said to make it easier to endorse folks with one click, I seem to be getting endorsed for some things I don't really do. Go figure.

And, speaking of Portland. As I was searching out things to do and shows to see while I'm there, I grew enamored with the Portland Cello Project, who alas, won't be in town when I am, but have made a wonderful record of Beck's 'Song Reader,' (which I'm now blasting).

April 6 @ Ashkenaz: Save the Ta-Tas

I've lost too many people to cancer, including my parents and my dear college friend Samantha, to breast cancer. Cancer is not my friend. People researching ways to prevent and eradicate it are! So I'm happy to play in support of GB Records' Breast Cancer Benefit at Ashkenaz, Wednesday, April 6. An event run in conjunction with The Save the Ta-Tas Foundation, another organization committed to keeping women healthy and cancer-free, the night includes a bunch of original Americana, pop, rock and roll by myself as well as Shay Aster, The McGrath Project, Serena and others. Plus our venue, Ashkenaz is a cool, Berkeley institution. I'll be playing with the band shortly after 8pm. Do come. xo, Deborah
April 6, 2011, 8pm Ashkenaz, 1317 San Pablo Ave, Berkeley, CA. $10/$15 door

Artist Interview: Patrice Haan's Many Muses

I first met Patrice Haan through a songwriting critique group, and, well, if someone shows up with a harp, you take notice. And of course, there's a lot more to Patrice than 'simply' her ability to compose and perform beautifully on one of the more hallowed of instruments. She also composes on piano, sings with Tony Marcus in Leftover Dreams and spends her days using music for healing. Patrice graciously answered my questions about her extensive performance cred and how she puts her harp in service at area hospitals, shelters and hospice with the non-profit organization Healing Muses.

Q: You write your own material, sing standards with your partner AND perform regularly as part of Healing Muses. Do these musical 'hats' flow together organically or do you find yourself having to consciously make time for each? What's the 'perfect' mix of all three?
PH: It’s amazing isn’t it? Honestly I think I have the most fortunate life of anyone I know!
Writing my own material is my medicine wheel, my way of making beauty, making sense and making healing. I meet with a superb songwriters’ circle, people who listen intently and with great love, so that offers me wisdom and a regular deadline.
The hospital work with the Muses is a major part of my practice, stepping aside and letting the music work. I’m absolutely convinced that music heals patients, families, staff and me. I have regular gigs at the hospital so I have to stay on top of that music.
My partner, Tony, is a wonderful player, singer and arranger. In Leftover Dreams, our duo, I get to sing some of the smartest, most lyrical and wonderfully crafted songs of the last century. In a show, when I present a tune solo I feel totally supported by Tony; other singers will attest to his skill in accompaniment. Sometimes we sing complex harmonies and let’s just say that the intimacy of singing harmonies with someone you care about is better than .. chocolate! As far as making time, I make music with my sweetheart so the desire to rehearse speaks for itself.
The flow comes from doing all these things I love to do. The perfect mix? Staying attuned to them all and having enough quiet time to listen.

Q: You seem made for harp and vice versa, but you came to it relatively late. Can you talk about your process playing, performing and composing for harp? Do you write on it more often than piano?
PH: Thank you. I am in love with my instrument; if it seems made for me, so much the better. I practice pretty much every day, though not always my own material. In the hospitals, I play a range of Renaissance, Medieval and world music, as well as original and improvised tunes – whatever seems to be needed. I wish I were a more skilled player and I think at this point only hours will do that.
Sometimes a melody will appear in my hands while I’m at the harp or piano; sometimes I find tunes by walking or swimming and singing to myself. Certain melodies and, even more so, certain accompaniments, better fit either the harp or the piano. Because the lever harp is diatonic I have to find ways of creating the sound I want by pre-tuning the strings or choreographing lever changes to give me certain notes. I love the voice of my harp – I play a Cithara Nova built by John Westling – and its sound, its resonance, is crucial to some songs. Others, especially ones which are more chromatic, must be played on piano. On the one hand there is the technical business of how to get the sound and on the other there is the listening intuitively for what the sound wants to be.
I’ve been experimenting with scordatura – tuning different octaves differently – and creative voicings. My song ‘Bluest Blue’ came about when I was challenged to write a blues harp song on lever harp rather than mouth harp!
And then there are lyrics. Lately I’ve been writing poetry and then setting it. Often I find myself without regular rhyme schemes or the common forms of songwriting: AABA or verse-chorus-verse-chorus-bridge-chorus. Then it’s like swimming and trusting the water to hold you. It’s utterly fascinating.

Q: You're starting a new recording project—what can listeners expect? How will it differ from "Headed Home"?
PH: It’s been 5 years since ‘Headed Home’ though I have been writing all along. Once again there will be harp and voice and piano and guitar, an a Capella song. But I’m stretching; there is at least one tone poem, a funny anthem to teatime, and my blues harp song. I hope I’m becoming more skilled. I think I’m not as sad. It’s still my medicine wheel.

Q: You work with Healing Muses, taking music into hospitals and hospices. This works sounds at once daunting and extremely deep and meaningful—what drew you to the work, what keeps you doing it and do you have a view on how to most effectively use sound and music for healing?
PH: I certainly do feel drawn; from early on there’s been a lot of death in my life but music has been part of that too. For example, as a young woman I was asked to be part of a care team for a friend dying of metastatic cancer. My job was to play piano and sing songs for her. She was very afraid of dying but her death in the end was gentle and gracious. Some years later, I sang my mother out. She was a wonderful singer and the music was a handhold between us. I know it helped her crossing, and it helped me.
When I was asked to join Healing Muses I was thrilled to continue the work. With the Muses, I rarely sing, but I always have my harp. Every time I am in a hospital, on a ward, in the lobby, at the lab, I see how music calms and lifts people. I mean patients, family, staff, security guards, volunteers at the information desk – the whole crew!
My goal is to let the music do its work. I try to create a space, a refuge, a little moment for whatever comes up. Sometimes the music gives the patient or the family permission to weep; as often it gives space to smile. Sometimes it lets people sleep. I was playing for a friend who had had radical surgery for cancer. She was nauseous and disheartened but she let me sit in the corner of her room and play softly. After two hours she said sleepily, that it was like a raft floated out to where she was struggling in stormy seas, giving her a safe place to crawl up and rest.
Do I have to explain further why I do this work?
Getting a broad repertoire of music so deeply in my hands that I can offer it unobtrusively takes a fair bit of time, but I’m continually fascinated to discover what might work in any given situation. I love the harp but I have to remind myself to be willing to let whatever is going to happen, happen. Occasionally someone will just need silence or I’ve had the weirdly funny moment of a patient feeling spooked by the harp, thinking it sounds too much like an invitation to go to heaven. In that case, I have to be willing to sing or move along.
More and more programs are being established which offer training in music for healing or music for transitions and dying. As to how to effectively use sound, I can only say I think we have to open our intention and our attention, call on the music and then step back. I believe the harp and the heart understand one another.

For more information about Patrice Haan, visit www.patricehaan.com